Gratitude

It been over two years since I last posted and a lot has changed, much of it external, but a great deal of it is a change in mentality and mindset. Let me explain.

I risk sounding clich/e here, and will probably come off as if I am trying to teach life lessons here, and I am utterly okay with that. Those who know me will say that I am quite taken by all of those one line inspirational life quotes, especially the ones which reverse the order of words. e.g., happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got!

Here is a brief summary of the things I've learned and taken away from the past couple of years:

1. Being selfish is different from self-care. Have compassion for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself who will? You can only look after and care about others if your own needs are met.

2. Your body is a vessel. Take good care of your body, you only get one (that we know of! I'm on the fence about reincarnation). It can do great things for you if you treat it with respect.

3. Respect is earned. Don't assume that others should respect you based on your credentials. Similarly, if you meet someone who is well respected be careful---don't make any assumptions!

4. Control yourself and only yourself. Any attempt to try and change other people will be futile, frustrating, and, ultimately, a waste of energy. Accept others for who they are and the choices they have made. Lead by example.

5. Your mind is one of the most important things you have. Be careful what information you feed your brain, and the people you surround yourself with. Don't settle for a career that will provide only financial security and numb your thoughts.

6. Optimism always wins over pessimism. Although negativity can be a powerful fuel, it's like a bad addiction. When it comes down to it, the good guys always overpower the bad (not just in the movies!).

7. Define your own success. Don't use external standards to judge what is "good enough". If you do your best by your own standards you can be proud of your efforts. This is important for longevity too.




8. GRATITUDE. Finally, we are now getting to the meat of the post here (everything above was just an appetizer). We all have choices about how to react to our thoughts. Thoughts are not good or bad, right or wrong. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, worrying about things outside of your control, isolate those thoughts and assess them. Play the devil's advocate for those thoughts. Why are you thinking this now? Is there validity to the thought? Could it be wrong? Am I overreacting? overpersonalizing? Ok, where am I going with this? Without going into a ton of detail, I will admit I have had (and continue to have) struggles with low self-esteem, disordered eating and body image issues, and little compassion for myself. I am also guilty of staying busy so that I don't actually have to think about the real underlying issues. By stepping back, and really asking myself "why am I really doing this", I have been able to break out of a cycle of addiction of being busy. Instead of thinking of all the things I'm not doing, and that I don't have (i.e. living a student life in my late twenties), I've flipped the switch to thinking about all the things I am grateful for.

Try this: once a day, think of three things you are grateful for. It could be anything---your health, family, hobbies, etc.

There are many things that I am grateful for, and thinking about it every day really makes it resonate.We all face setbacks. The only thing we can do is to control how we respond to them.

Peace out,

Dein